Logic of the Pete
by Kari Anna
Summary: Plark. Chloe and Lex discover why Pete dislikes Lex so much. Rated for mild language. SLASH. COMPLETE


Yes, I know I have a LOAD of WIPs I should be working on, but this plot bunny won't leave me alone and maybe it'll help me get rid of my writer's block.

DISCLAIMER: Maybe if Al or Miles accidently hit me with a car I can get part ownership of _Smallville_ in lieu of settlement money.

**Logic of the Pete**

Chloe rolled her eyes as Pete once again ranted to her about the evil that was commonly known as Lex Luthor, Smallville's resident billionaire. The two teens were in the _Torch_ office, working on the next issue despite the fact that they were wasting an absolutely gorgeous Saturday morning by doing so. Chloe was currently typing up her handwritten first draft of an article on Plant No. Three, which was what had caused Pete to go off on this tangent.

Chloe took a brief break from typing to grab one of the mochas Pete had brought with him and oh-so-conveniently placed on the file cabinet she couldn't reach. Silently she sent a prayer to God, _Please, stop Pete. He's driving me insane. Send the principal, a meteor mutant, hell! Send Van, with plenty of ammo, just shut him up!_

No reprieve came, and the reporter pouted as she plopped back into her computer chair. For the next twenty minutes, she did her best to ignore Pete and keep typing. Wasn't too hard; she'd had a lot of practice. Then the worst happened. _He_ showed up. Lex's defender, Clark Kent. Pete stopped ranting about Luthors and creamed corn for a moment.

With that big, toothy farmboy grin of his, Clark said, "Hey Pete, I've been looking for you everywhere. Did you forget about our science project?"

Pete blinked, as if that would help him remember. "Huh? Oh, the report we're supposed to do?"

Clark rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Jupiter's 'great red spot.'"

"'Kay. Just let me finish dictating my article to Chloe real quick."

_That senseless babblewas supposed to be his article? He better hope he doesn't go into journalism. Can we say, 'journalistic objectivity?'_ Outwardly, Chloe said, "Okay, um, I'll be back in a minute. I forgot some stuff in my car."

She dashed out of the room, desperate for a break from the raving Pete. She heard Clark ask Pete was his article was about, and Pete said something about the Luthors and creamed corn. Then the usual arguement started up. Chloe bolted out of the school, straight for her car. She banged her head on the steering wheel, which would have made the horn go off if the car wasn't so old and decrepit. As it was, Chloe had to make weekly repairs on various parts of the vehicle-- with _duct tape_.

Once she had managed to get her mind in proper working order again, and was sure she could face Pete's rambling again, she walked slowly back into the school and up to her office. As she approached the door, she thought she should have been able to hear the boys' arguing. That was usually the way things worked. Then she heard a soft moan and thought, _Oh my God, it finally happened. They got so pissed off they beat the crap out of each other._

She crept closer to the door, until her body was almost pressed against it, then turned the doorknob until she could open the door a crack and survey the damage. But instead of finding both boys bloody and slumped on the floor, Pete's body was pressing Clark's back to Chloe's desk, and the two looked like they were _kissing._ Chloe made a mental note to fix her gaydar, wondering how she could have missed the attraction between Pete and Clark. Then the boys broke their liplock, and Pete panted, "Damn, Clark. I haven't seen you all week."

Clark gently pushed Pete upright so that he himself could stand up. "Helping on the farm or at the Talon, mostly."

The other sighed in what seemed to be relief. "Good. I don't want Luthor making some half-assed attempt at taking you away from me."

"Babe, I've said this a million times: Lex will _never_ take me away from you. I love you, case closed," Clark said.

For a moment, Chloe mused about how weird it was to hear Clark call someone 'babe.'

Maybe at this point most people would have walked away, their curiosity satisfied and their eyes marked with guilt. Not Chloe Sullivan. She was quite well accustomed to the eavesdropping and spying her chosen profession called for. So with a broad, smug smirk, she stood and pushed the door wide open.

"Science project, huh?"

* * *

Later that day Chloe, Pete, Clark and even Lex had been roped into helping Lana take down the Valentine's Day decorations that were strewn around the Talon. Pete and Clark worked on one corner of the room, and Chloe went out of her way every now and then so that she could tease them. 

By six, the boys' faces had run out of shades of red to turn, and so they were starting on purple. Chloe grinned wickedly as she passed them with an armful of worn-out decorations. "Well Pete, this definitely explains why you dislike Lex so much. And I have to hand it to you; the whole, 'Clark is crushing on Lana' thing has been _very_ convincing. You know, Clark, when we broke it off you could have just said your boyfriend was getting jealous."

Such were her taunts, among more embarassing ones that won't be mentioned. Finally, the ever-observant Lex noticed Clark and Pete's purple faces, and the blonde reporter who was making it worse. With a smirk, he sauntered over and asked, "Alright, Chloe. If you don't quit torturing these two, they'll die from lack of oxygen." Chloe sighed and wandered away to clean up more of the mess. "I do wonder _why_ Chloe felt the need to tease you mercilessly, though."

The look on Lex's face told the boys that if they didn't spill the beans, Lex would find a way to _make_ the beans spill. Both teens cracked under the pressure. The younger Luthor could be almost as scary as Martha Kent in Mother Hen Mode, when he wanted to be.

"We--" Clark was cut of by Pete,

"are--"

"going--"

"out."

Lex was a genius, yes, but that didn't mean he wasn't thick-headed. "Pardon?"

Clark rolled his eyes, thinking, _And people say I'm blind._ "Pete is my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Lex was having a hard time getting his brain to register that. Comprehension dawned on him when at last his brain made the connection. "You mean he-- and you-- and the-- oh, okay."

The Flannel King grinned. "I figured you'd take it pretty well."

"Yeah. I imagine you kept it a secret because the rest of Smallville might be considerably more opposed to it than I am," Lex inquired.

Pete was a little surprised that Lex wasn't upset. He'd always thought the man _wanted_ Clark. "Yup." He was willing to be civil, maybe even nice, so long as Luthor wasn't aiming to steal his sweetheart. "There are two other homo couples at school, and both are too scared to come out."

Lex nodded his understanding. Then he smirked and said, "Well, now I get why you've seemed to dislike me so much. I suspected it wasn't as much about my father as it was something else."

Clark grinned and rolled his eyes. "That's the logic of the Pete for you."

* * *

Review review review. Pleeeeeeaaasse? If you don't I'll send my muses Cyri and Gavin after you. And Gav is half demon, so review. Muwahahaha! 


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